23 February 2003

I just returned from my 2nd 'recreation park', my beloved Darul Quran. Being there for my junior's khatam quran ceremony. And for the sake of recreation too. Re-creation. To create myself again, for the next semester in UIA. Hmmm.

(One thing I didn't like about typing is, u will have the tendency to go back and rewrite your sentence when u think u are doing mistakes, whether it's a spelling mistakes, or, it's a sentence mistakes, such as grammar... and etc.) Alhamdulillah, I refound myself, just as I hope before, and it feels really good when u found your self back. You know what to do to be whom your should be....( it's not the matter of accepting things as it is already fated to be and u can't do nothing about it, it's about planning and alligning urself with the track as what u've planned before, according to your knowledge level upon yourself.... am I sound confusing? I hope not!).... anyone remember Rasulullah s.a.w prayer about this matter? Alaa.... the doa which says, " O my Almighty God, give me the patience to see things as it be, and the courage to see things as it should be..." , or...is it vice-versa? Hmm.... what an "insan".

21 February 2003

Assalamualaikum....

At last... after nearly 2 months of waiting... finally I can touch my blog again.

I would like to share to anyone who come to this page... well... its about my days in the previous semester.


Let's see.... what happened first....mmm, yes, the first thing happened, is, the beginning of interactive diary... (if you can say so). On the third day of Raya Aidilfitri, someone mistakenly keyed in my number in her (her?.... hehe... fami, what's this?) phone, and sending message...

"diana, ko kat mana?"

At that time, I was in a mosque, at my kampung. I just finished doing my zuhur prayer congregationally with my pa and my brother.

"Aaa? Who's this?" I mumbled to myself.

"diana takde kat sini. Mi ada la."

"Mi? wei diana, jangan gurau la.."

"betul la. kat sini takde diana. Mi ada la. Tak tau la ko kenal ke tak. N/F."

"oh, mi. ni m/f ke n/f?"

"ni n/f. mungkin nombor kwn ko tu hujungnya 9528, atau 5298, atau 2958."

After a few minutes....

"sori la tadi saya salah nombor. Oh, ni mi ye? kat mana nih?"

"johor... "

"student lagi ke? kat ne?"

"kau kat mana? utm/uum/ukm/um/usm/uia?." (atas alasan tak nak menambah kawan y berlainan jantina lagik... so, buat buat bodo...

"uia. awak uia gak ke?"

switch to malay for better feeling... "hm. ko mc ke?"
mintak mintak ye.

"mc. course econ. okey jumpa kat sana.." cheh. confiden gile minah ni aku budak matric.

"jap, jap. aku rasa kau silap dah nih. Aku matrik lagi."

"oh..mc tu matric? ye la. Saya matrik lah. ko tak kenal aku."
alamak. apsal aku cakap gini.

"fahmi ke?"hah, sudah.....aah, biarla.

"hmm..... Nama aku pelik sket. Nurul Fahmi."

"okey la. Sy lm keta nih nak balik Keramat. Jumpa lagi."


Then, after a few messages and phone calls, we become good friends. Then, become more close. It's so sudden.

That's when things becoming..... bertimbun. Friends. Tutorials. Quizzes. Proposal. Follow ups. Close friends. It's not the matter of time management. It's life management.

That was my real character test.. and I think I failed it... well, it just didn't go to my expectation. With my unfinished duty in 2 roles, which is QYC Education Headcomm and Engin's V/P, I just don't get it. Being unreachable and assumed as totally unreachable, (thanks to my stupid SIM, ), bigger problems keep coming.

What can I think of, is, the production capacity has not being increased. I'm imbalanced. I did not go to any exercise programme in this semester, (except for the Taichi in Damansara's Mosque with my Ustaz..)... didnot care for my brain, did not care for my sleep. i just failed. Total loser.

Well...., during this holiday, I am doing my best to overcome the problem. One problem has been solved... which is the "usya usya thing." Well, I just don't get it. I just dislike other's attitude staring at me, as if I'm an alien coming from Roswell with special abilities... after all, ....mmm....maybe it's because my English. At first, two girls found to be staring at me for unknown reason. Trying to "buat bodo", I managed to overcome it for about two months. "well, maybe they're staring another guy besides me." I changed place. And they're doing it again. "Alaa... rileks laa... diorang ada mata, biar la diorang tengok."

At last, during Annual Dinner of Engineous, one of them worked as commitee, and that's when it started to become worse. Something happen. Something really happen. I just want to think and act as if there's nothing happen, but.... I can't. I'm just thinking, "why would she try act like that? Do she really meant to attract me?". I'm sure any guy on this planet called earth would probably thinks and assumes the same.

To my surprise, I can't get her off my mind for about 1 week, when I was home for my 3 weeks holiday. Shit! I wonder if she has do something.... maybe taking the fourth sentence from above-left page in the first pages of surah Toha, as her wirid. or zikir harian.

At last, I call her... and told her everything. I don't want to think of her again. (where did I get the number? haha. Don't ask.. okay, okay, I tell..... in your dreams!) It works.... for 4 days, before I started to miss her like crazy for the whole day. I lie on my bed on twelve and only fall asleep at 1. I couldn't sleep! It's like having her face painted on my ceilings and walls. In the morning, I felt my heart is warm..... (but I don't want to call her anymore, because, I think it would worsen the situation.).... i just call her another friend of mine... hoping that I could release the tense. I called Nana, and Arfah, my adik angkat's close friend. And it is.... alhamdulillah.

Today, I'm going to Darul Quran for my recreation, plus, for my junior's khatam Quran, which will be hold tomorrow. I'm sure I will re-find myself.... hopefully, Insya Allah, and gain more strength to rearrange myself for the upcoming semester.

want to know how smart are u?

hue are you??!!!! =)

Kita Kawan, Bukan Mahu Lawan

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